HOW TO: Get over Him

If you’ve clicked onto this; he’s not worth it and you’re already a winner… Or the heading just intrigued your single ass.

There are many cures for a broken heart, many you’ve heard before

we have:

The “Classics”

The “Recreational” 

and The “Who?”


The classic approach

wallow in your room surrounded by ripped up pictures of you and him. 1 gallon of ice cream on your left, 43 wet soggy tissues on your right. you cry yourself to the brink of dehydration, finding everything holds a memory of him yields you sadness.

the gallon of ice cream is replaced hourly until you run out. you survive 27 minutes without it; suffering deeply. you are forced out of your cave of grief. wrapped in your duvet you head to the kitchen. your mother faint. she hasn’t seen you in weeks. your dog whimpers and backs slowly away.

you’ve gained 14 stone, haven’t showered in weeks, spots adorn your face. you squint around madly, the brightness is unbearable. moving forward you reach blindly for the sacred healing elixher. “Nutella” you murmur before retreating with it, back to your haven of misery.

not advisable.


The recreational approach

beads of sweat drip off your nose concentration is vital, you lick your lips, swallowing hard. hand tremors, eye twitches. you release the dart with such great power it slices through the air and wedges itself deep into the left eye of your target.

“Huh” you smirk at the picture of his face taped neatly to the back of your wardrobe door. “Take that.” more darts fly. “and THAT,” you scream fury and madness take a hold of you as more and more darts whizz through the air. you’ve been moving closer this whole time, in a flash of rage you lash out at the face, tearing it down and ripping it to shreds. the pieces float satisfyingly down to the ground and you glance up, then go to move on but your gaze is held in horror by your wardrobe door.

It’s him. his face chiseled forever into the door.”NOOOOOOOOOOOO” you cry, sinking to the floor….

not advisable.



The Who?

walking slowly through town you look up at the streetlights and down to the shop windows and you thank your friend for bringing you out. she’s right you do feel so much better now. she’s in the middle of one of her stories, you’ve stopped listening 3 shops ago but still you laugh and nod along.

then, down the street you see it. the swarm of boys. Turn Back you think, TURN BACK. you go to say it to your friend but she’s seen them now and her face has lit up. No you think, NO and then it comes she calls them beckoning for them to come over to us. “hey” suddenly they’re encompassing you.

She’s chatting away but you can feel his presence too.

So, you just keep looking straight ahead as if you haven’t noticed the 34 boys around you. You keep walking like you don’t go to school with ever one of them and you move on like you’ve never seen that girl you were, just minutes so deep in conversation with. They look at you confused and you can hear her stop talking she calls your name…. you just keep walking.

not advisable on account of its long-term effects on your social life

none of these approaches are advised…

possible side effects to trying the above include:

  • weight gain
  • damage to furniture
  • social exclusion 



Take time to do what you want to do; read a book, go for a run, pet your dog, watch a movie… whatever.

When you’re finally able too, look back on your relationship. if things ended on bad terms, distance yourself from him. spend time with friends, go shopping, talk about it.

If you felt the time just wasn’t right for a relationship or either of you just found you couldn’t commit, keep that friendship. Keep in mind things don’t get awkward until you start making them awkward.

I hope this lightened your mood and possibly helped somewhat.

Follow LeanSixteen for more like this!

Emma – LeanSixteen



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